Can a bullying experience make you ill?


Right said Karen asks this question to try and understand some consequences not just in her life, but in others’ lives too.

So can bullying cause illness? Or can illness cause bullying?

What kind of illness I hear you say? Emotional, Physical or just plain old Mental illness? I have had all three myself.

  1. Where does bullying come from?
  2. Is it learned from an early age, perhaps behaviour from our parents and siblings, in other words is it catching?
  3. Can we as individuals learn through personal development to look at ourselves and identify a) When we are being bullied sooner as to minimise the risk of ourselves becoming ill. b) To not bully others by deflecting (ref: point 2 above)
  4. What can be done to stop bullying, is support and intervention helpful?
  5. How to survive the aftermath of bullying, to move on in a healthy mind.

Okay, so I have written my life story and published it this year, it’s called Beaten but Unbowed (waking from the nightmare of abuse) I have uncovered some interesting things in the research and some comments afterwards. I don’t have all the answers myself, and that is why I am open to a discussion, so please feel free to comment at the end.

Let me take point 1.

Maybe the bully is for some reason (and it can vary) insecure in their own skin, by bringing down an innocent party they make themselves look bigger, successful, a winner opposed to a loser. In other words they are jealous of talents, raw abilities, and a whole host of other things. Perhaps the bully wrongly believes YOU’RE stupid. Cleverly winding a web of illusion by manipulating the outside world to think of them as a fully mature adult, when in fact they’re emotionally more likely to be arrogant and full of self-righteousness, they are emotionally stunted at age 3 or 4.

Point 2.

Did they get bullied? Was their childhood unfair in some way, perhaps nowhere to turn, the damage became internalised. They became angry inside and had to fight back, not to their aggressor but to you their perception of weakness.

 “They bullied me every day for my stutter and oversized glasses. When surgery went wrong and left me with a lazy eye and severe speech problems, I was mocked, which stopped me speaking in class.” Ed Sheeran

Point 3.

Personal development is a very useful process leaving you with a toolkit to recognize much sooner when you are being bullied. In other words the penny will drop way before any damage is done. And hopefully make you fully aware of what occurred, therefore in YOUR own adult mind YOU can resist catching the disease of deflecting onto others.

Point 4.

Yes I have found intervention helpful. Relieving confusion. I was unsure in fact what was happening. Support played a hand in steadying me, to get back on track to my old self. One sometimes has to be very brave and have lots of self-belief to take the offer of help. In my experience it did pay off.

Point 5.

Quirks might seem weird when your young, but they make you stand out when you’re older and that’s the important thing. Although I was speechless in class, it didn’t stop me singing in Church and playing guitar in my room” Ed Sheeran

The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers & lovers of all kinds.”     Dalai Lama


4 thoughts on “Can a bullying experience make you ill?

  1. I agree with all of the above, but would like to add to it, I think it is instinct when you are very very young, it’s like a throw back to when we were apes and survival of the fittest an all that, you try to hardest to make the imperfect (in your eyes) person go away for the sake of the rest of the pack, it’s a bit like the runt of the litter in dogs or cats, if us humans don’t step in and stop the others trying to push the runt away, the runt can die from not getting enough food from constantly being pushed out (and sometimes it’s actually the mother that tries to get rid (we know about that one in humans, don’t we!) bully is wrong where ever it happens (except in wildlife, purely because it is survival of the fittest and if they held back for the weakest or different one it could put the whole pack at risk from predators) so I am not sure that bullying is always learnt behaviour is what I am trying to say 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

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